The garden

We started this project together. The land was wild, stones and bushes everywhere. We didn't quite know what we wanted it to become, never really expected anything. Most of the time in the beginning we wandered around. The damp forest air tingled my nostrils at the edge of the woody territories where I planned a clearing for the autumn flowers maze garden I had on my mind.

It turned out harder than I thought. The stones would not let go so easily, the roots went in deep and would not give up, the soil was not good. Some hills we tried to build turned into desert dunes, the pond never really hold any water. The wilderness fought back.

"Do you still want to do it that way? It is not as much fun as we hoped it to be. We could try something different, go some place else."

He looked tired, didn't talk too much any more. Dinner would last just a couple of minutes and then he would go to his room, playing some computer or something. I had no clue what he did, he wasn't talking about it.

Me, I wanted this so badly, couldn't give it up. The vague ideas in the beginning had their roots in my heart now, growing and growing. The things that didn't work, I changed them on the fly. No questions or discussions were necessary any more, I was on my own now. He was not around most of the time, and when he was, he would mainly drag heavy things around and help me with the hard work. He would do anything I asked him but I couldn't make him smile.

We had a pizza delivered tonight. None of us was up for cooking - I was tired, he was not in the mood for it. I looked at him as he was leaning over the table, holding one piece he just bit on in one hand and putting another piece on a plate to take away in his room.

"If I didn't ask you to, would you still stay here with me?"